Riced Out Yugo
YUGO
YUGO LABS
ALSO WIK
You Can Trust The Yugo
we live in an era of egregious, invisible corporate magnates curtailing our right to pirate reality tv (because it's worthless anyways) and post funny cat images (because we like funny cat images).

just look at some of these recent violations:

  • Google using its dominance in the search engine market to try and take over unrelated markets (facebook, twitter)
  • Mark Zuckerberg ejaculating wildly as he contemplates turning the internet into his own personal giant ant farm
  • Twitter being a bastion of free speech, but only once Saudi/News Corp stakeholders give it the OK
  • Microsoft charging $10/mo fee to keep owning digital content you've already purchased (i believe they call it "xbox live")
  • The MPAA/RIAA attempting to turn the internet into television (receive-only; beamed down from our corporate masters)
  • MySpace being bought out by Justin Timberlake and doing something vague and poorly-defined
  • Geocities existing only as an obsession of that guy that runs cow.net

!!STOP!!


enough already.

the yugo has been here since summer of 2003 -- before the internet was "social." yes, the yugo is, in fact, staunchly anti-social. we are the elite 54%. we guarantee to absolutely not give a fuck about you and your personal data. we will not track a damn thing, because it's too much of a hassle to write the code. we guarantee to be just a stupid fucking site on the internet, and not some entity bent on possessing as many internet souls as possible. because, in truth, not all internet souls are created equal. many are fucking crap, in fact, and we find the idea of trying to lure them here in order to announce "readership increased" next quarter to be abso-fucking-lutely insane. don't tell wall street.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-01-30 03:37:09
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massive qauntities of pig meat

54% of these turtles smoke teh bluntz as they say. It seems kinda low to me too, but, when a turtle can't choose a VoIP provider it ain't the end of the world; just the end of snow on the Promenade De Anglais which means only one thing:


"CURTAILMENT"

"Curtailment" of your business VoIP service. Low requirements, low maturity, the man sticking a big, hard one up your shabby, old RJ11. Throwin' ya a new RJ45 complete with unlimited pornography, HD movie streams, and government surveillance. But don't worry, a good ol' chap is walking 2 miles in the midwest and he is mad as hell...


Be the 54%
Posted by shitbowl @ 2012-01-29 21:23:47
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Yoga For The Flexible Esquire, Chapter 12

typical daily exercise routine for "young go-getter" level

  • The Law Form Of O'Noe, Hugh, & D'Int
    This position opens your legal chakra. Hold for five minutes and file amicus brief.
  • The Law Form Of Baron Mustard von Treacle
    For ten minutes, concentrate on actually believing your own lies. File suit.
  • The Law Form Of Duey, Cheatum, & Howe
    Focus on your invoice net 15 exhale. Continue until you feel done. Ground yourself with hookers and blow.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-01-13 18:23:59
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Typical Reaction To Riced Out Yugo #15
Typical Reaction To Riced Out Yugo
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-01-05 00:22:42
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Party Trax
in a display of blatant, shameless, sell-out-ness, we interrupt your usual stream of exponentially incomprehensible wat/nonsense to impore you to "link" riced out records' latest, great-er-est release, "Party Trax":


moar nfo & fotoz

Download In MP3
Download In FLAC
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-01-03 03:34:43
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typical reaction to riced out yugo #14
typical reaction to riced out yugo #14
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-29 03:03:08
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having considered our predicament
Words that were long ago moved through time and space.

The Arsenal: Somewhere in the 7th ring of Alpha Machanicus, PNRFNE's long forgotten arsenal of thoughtsculptors (37) gathers dust. No one searches for them, not even PNRFNE. His mind is empty. The taciti (19) STUMBLED upon it in the 7th era, but the discovery wiped their minds clear. FRIRA hid the arsenal with his lunar apparatus.

Grains of Sand (access file 21:37:00): Somewhere in that deep desert, PNRFNE blinded (43) himself. THIS IS THE BEGINNING. --not supposed to find his molecular lifeboat-- He had escaped the last cosm altered (37) like all the other(s). Their names were FRIRA. They had no name.

The Graphite Cube: Was not a mere distraction, but the purpose remains unknown. FRIRA built it with her lunar apparatus.

The Library: He had abandoned the searchers, or perhaps they had abandoned him. PNRFNE was blind, yet he opened his eyes. The grain of sand. THE GRAIN OF SAND. FRIRA SHE HAD NOT STOPPED HIM YET. THE INFORMATION AT ADDRESS 0xZX7@$$$$%^$@! HAD BEEN CORRUPTED (79). Her voice had defiled the library, shattering the structures. PNRFNE's RAGE (29)
The Spider: FRIRA had left our friend a surprise. Used their twisted (31) lunar apparatus to build an 8 legged machine, a mechanical poison, a technological illness. The illness replaced PNRFNE's spine before he could react. PNRFNE's rage grew a thousandfold (29).

The Prayer: FRIRA tunneled into the void, altering (37) herself yet again. There was no more hope for this universe. She did not know if PNRFNE could follow, but she prayed to the machine.
Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2011-12-28 07:19:00
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BOY LAUGHS AND COMPUTER BURNS
BOY LAUGHS AND COMPUTER BURNS
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-22 04:41:07
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FACTOID1
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to be a fish and he'll jump the shark.
Posted by Rick Moran Is @ 2011-12-17 17:07:51
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typical reaction to riced out yugo #13
Typical reaction to Riced Out Yugo #13
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-15 05:11:04
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typical reaction to riced out yugo #12
Typical Reaction to Riced Out Yugo #12
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-15 02:38:51
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uncompromised diversity
...While dreaming of ethically disemboweling a member of some unknown public transit authority, reading Mark into John, bypassing Luke altogether, contemplating effervescence, practicing hyperfukbot impersonations and searching the internets for nude photos of Tim Tebow... I suddenly realise... riced out yugo is my econ major.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2011-12-13 15:34:10
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will nature make a clam of me yet?
Posted by fuckle @ 2011-12-08 22:45:11
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Do not microwave
I am alone here, alone but not cold.
I do not envy your life.
Neither you nor your melamine wife.
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2011-12-08 00:01:51
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Trollface circa 1968
Trollface 1968
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-06 21:56:41
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Let's build a Roquefort!
We will need:
  • Peltier
  • Iron wire
  • Plastic bucket
  • Sodium chloride
  • Pliny the Elder

Assemble ingredients in a pint glass, stir, and drink that shit.
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2011-11-27 19:54:47
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sine of the times
"...loop loop loop spin..." the machine continued. I could see that I was
getting nowhere and I increased the belt tension. Soon the tray arrays would
arrive and I needed to have the presentation ready
John "The Corgi" Brootherson was not to be fooled with.
Finally the machine sputtered "...loop loop lool polo lool polo rotate.
I gathered the documents hastily and shuffled to the meeting room.
The arrays arrived and scowled,as usual.
Brootherson would be pleased this day.

      l                          o
   o     p                    l     o
 o         o                o         l
l           l             l            p
             o           o              o
              l         p                l
                o     l                    o
                   o
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2011-11-22 13:03:40
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Rice Outed
Major power-crumps on the pipe jolted my HTML heart hole and I awoke from sleep mode. I dazed up at tube-screamer circuit fish nimbling the binary barnacles from the Unix Operating System which had become my makeshift home. A thick fog of Viagra spam descended over the weblands. Rodents and marketing experts scurried for shelter under a 53MB uninstalled service pack. I knew what was next, that's why I didn't click anything...
Posted by Rick Moran Is @ 2011-11-22 03:13:45
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perhaps this is the call you've been waiting for all these years, sir
it boils down to this site being a garden. a plot of land in my backyard, where i enjoy growing things. weird things. different things. other people showed up and help me garden, grow more weird things. you're welcome to help out as well.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-11-20 12:36:28
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i broke the timeline
things are folding back upon themselves, you'll see what i mean if you ingest some dgsxfkgshgnm, wear 3d goggles, and stare into the star
Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2011-11-19 11:29:55
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