Riced Out Yugo
reflection
in a world where even noble helium ointment is subject to stankflation -- helium ointment! a bloody staple since the middle ages -- one man has the nerve to clog the terminal in protest: do not replace item. refund. refund instacarpimmediately. stop bothering me. i need to be in the shower
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2021-10-21 06:06:45
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I BEG YOUR PARDON

TRIANGLE! IS ONLY A LIE! IF YOU DON’T EXPECT IT!!

SO. EXPECT IT.

fucker

Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2021-10-10 11:32:35
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TRIANGLE IS A LIE
Posted by mouses @ 2021-10-10 02:47:26
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When the yam hits the fan
The nougat stands alone.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2021-09-26 18:05:01
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vesuvius input
stormachle clabbrebuckle per schnauzer per agency; no more than sixteen condoms per load. trifling effermatigercy will be enclittled with dyraex-kaulikallture manuevers. you have been warned: eat at moe's
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2021-09-16 05:58:35
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RICED OUT INQUISITION

hey i don’t mean to interrupt but
HAVE YOU FOUND JESUS

Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2021-09-12 17:14:29
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blaeckmaelchain
please pay two bitcoin to hear this autechre trax as anything but a machinedrum tumbling over a rocky cliff.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2021-08-25 06:27:59
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proposed business venture
blockchain network into which anyone is allowed to inject any foul crap they want to be replicated until... someone pays a fee to suppress it. amount depends on how far it's already spread
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2021-08-25 06:25:28
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Re: potential theft
Dear TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY,

Thank you for your enquiry. This is not a glitch, we
have taken your money to fund the refurbishment of
the 7th floor balcony.

Kind regards

Leo Bartlett
Customer Satisfaction Department, Riced Out Bank


- WARNING -
This email originated outside your earthly domain.
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forwarding to the intended addressee.

> Dear Riced Out Bank,
> 
> All my money has seemingly vanished from my
> account. I was wondering if this is just a glitch,
> or if this is something to be concerned about.
> 
> Kind regards,
>
> TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY
Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2021-08-24 18:28:54
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riced out industires launches national credit score cryptocurrency based on the blockchain
hey cowboys and/or cowgirls! riced out marketing here with another one of those blockchain-clocking beats: to wit, your entire credit score can now be stored in a shared, open ledger -- for everyone to freely view! simply download the current blockchain from our geocities site, add your PII to the end of the list, then re-upload for glorious financial harmony.
Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2021-08-24 09:38:14
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WINGSPAN

sometimes i just launch myself out of my bedroom window because I AM A BIRD

Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2021-08-23 01:50:14
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proefsioal adbice

become immune to the virus by dying before it can get you

Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2021-08-23 01:44:19
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fireplace analysis

you know, fireplaces aren’t that bad, just a little cramped but once you’re in them they’re just fine

Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2021-08-23 01:34:41
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well, yeah
I mean, well yeah, you could go live in the woods, drink pond water and eat leaves but that's illegal in most states... Then you get a fine for illegally camping... Bingo bango you got debt henceforth squid pro crow you got credit now go buy your fone sans 3 managers.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2021-08-21 00:17:52
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i agree

What we really need are fully open protocols and platforms that can’t be controlled so easily by businesses and governments. Of course, the problem of ensuring people can get these services, like your example of just setting up a new phone plan, is another problem altogether. That is one that will have to be tackled either by legal force, or by developing an entirely new phone network that is somehow decentralised, affordable, and ubiquitous. This will not happen, so ffffuck. Bring back carrier pigeons or something?

Sent from my iPhone

Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2021-08-20 22:05:41
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things have become too goddamn centralized
used to be -- you sign up for a cell phone thing, you get a phone free with the plan. of course, it's not free [it's built into the price], but, still... just a higher monthly fee; works out. fair trade

now, however, you need to go through a credit check. if your credit is shit, you can't get a phone on a plan. if you refuse a credit check, you can't get a phone on a plan. in fact, even if you refuse a credit check, they will still want your driver's license number, address, social security, DNA sample... or, no phone, sorry. unless you fight, argue... and then, ok, i guess we can, ok. after 2-3 managers are summoned. that they could all along but they don't wanna.

then they get hacked and your credit is fucked because all that shit they demanded is fucking christmas for some asshole from russia or nigera who pay a few bitcoin for access to t-mobile getting hacked. verizon will be next; mark my words

welcome to america, where we have the right to our dreams crushed by consumer credit reporting lacking any sort of coherent security whatsoever despite society tying our ability to function to credit score

i've dodged all this so far, but i'm increasingly terrified. i think i might just have to become genuinely paranoid to survive, and that's no fun at all.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2021-08-20 08:35:36
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With Othernatural Flavour
with theese
  within cheese
    euripides, euripides
      within cheese, eruipides gong
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2021-08-14 06:26:37
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PIRATE
You are blind, or maybe your computer can't display this image. This is normally the part where i describe it to you -- but honestly, i don't even know where to begin. Just get eyes already.
Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2021-08-12 22:23:30
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A virtual guide to self trepanation
sale on croutons buy 1 get 1 free with Usb data enabled ask the 8 ball for more details cannot be combined with any otter offers does not include nougat .7
Posted by shitbowl @ 2021-08-09 16:47:27
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moth man 24/7
365
Posted by shitbowl @ 2021-07-30 12:52:29
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