Riced Out Yugo
lazers of happenstance

"...Nature, as a reality, is a fallacy. The unencumbered soul lives outside this concoction; life is, to be sure, a series of lazers emanating from an infinite number of cubes. These cubes of perfect symmetry remain outside of time, perpetually delivering lazers into the essence of maphabillity, i.e. the human condition. Said lazers set maphabillity into motion by introducing a deliberate, controlled state of entropy..."



-The .7 lifestyle: Lazer of happenstance. 7th ed
Posted by shitbowl @ 2017-08-14 01:02:13
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phase lock correcqted
fouting montey is fleb keeber grot, so when you slay the krob, feen fop blim blam corrosive marmalade. then, you think you'll find that that thing that i sent ya that time (no, the other one) to be found. a found idea ingleeb! unlike, say, a small pod of milk substitute for ladies to keep in their purrses -- an idea which the author finds to be a terrible idea. on the other out of hand, a man who carries a house fridge to a work cubicle is likely to be the sort of chap likely to be duped into thinking such a purrchase would, indeed, likely be a good idea. it is not
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-08-04 00:42:30
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bad gravy
We have to be able to get the same thing as a beaver's dam.
beaver gravy beekeeper gravy in other words gravy gravy.
Mama's gravy Pappa's gravy gravy in the cupboards.
Gravy in fridge gravy in the oven.
Don't touch the gravy don't smell the gravy.
Hard gravy soft gravy don't mess with the beaver's gravy.
Grandma's gravy ain't no painted gravy; gravy gravy.
Gravy gravy gravy.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2017-07-31 16:51:50
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good grape
it was the eighteenth fortitude of chobbnekker (the wrecker) in a rising house of the pulmanory destroyer (lord tomato), tuesday. when it happened: vlitmliari ate himself in reverse and appeared at my feet -- uneaten! -- mad as a bog scorpion. vlitmliari demanded -- demanded -- that i not eat grapes in the store, i haven't paid for those grapes yet, that's shoplifting, he insisted.

"i'm not sure what you mean," i said, popping another grape (into my gaping maw), "i don't even like grapes."

so, trust a traveller -- don't hit up an acropolis rising in the house of lord tomato, cos even da grapes gibbe ye griefe
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-07-11 23:47:02
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patent meditation
#1640 -- see #1640.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-07-11 23:37:01
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cure for a wandering third eye
u bocky so bocky ned bagel she barter done trubble so diffa got dotta no differ hop skipinna jumpa hop hoppina clappina clippinnacloppiaena close the window, lock the window, pull down the windowshade. dunt dunt dunt clap. duntyi aroo. close the window, lock the window, pull down the windowshade. close the window, lock the window, pull down the windowshade.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-07-11 23:31:05
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data gleam
theicemachineisalwaysmakingiceitsllikeitaamach
inetheicemachineisalwaysmakingiceitsllikeitaama
chinetheicemachineisalwaysmakiniceitslikeitaamachi
netheicemachineisalwaysnakungiceitslikeitsa
machinetheicemachineisakwaysmakingiceitskikeits
amavhintheicemachineisalwaysmakingiceitslikeitsamachineyhricemach
ineisalwaysadicthetheicemachineiskwaysms
kingicritslikeutsanachinetheicemachineisakeaysmakingiceitskikeitsamach
inetheicemachinriswlwaysmakingiceitslikeitssmachi
neyjricemachineisqlwaysmskingicrutsllikeitsamschinet
heicemachineisalwaysnsiingiceitslikeitsamachineth
eucemachuneidwajwaysmakingiceitslikeitsamachinetheucemachineisakwaysn
akingiƧeitalijeitaamachinrtheicemachineisak
waysmakingiceitslikeitsamschinethriicenachineskw
aysmakingiceitslikeitsanicemachinetheicemachineisakwaysmskingiceitslikeitsanice
machine
Posted by shitbowl @ 2017-07-01 01:44:10
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also they're empty inside
Bunnies make dirt bike noises
Posted by shitbowl @ 2017-05-18 16:54:38
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strategic busiiness
rOY COMPILED LIST FOR STRATEGIC BUSINESS
  • strategies
  • compiling
  • For
  • lists
  • rOY
  • businessing
Posted by shitbowl @ 2017-05-17 16:57:07
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tip of the day
the intellect makes sense of emotional nonsense triggered by sensory input of reactions to actions based on the decisions of the intellect. refusing to make sense is but one way to break this cycle
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-05-08 04:10:53
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Pious Armadillo
Armadillo, armadillo. Armadillo, armadillo. Armadillo. Pious armadillo.. Pompous armadillo. Armadillo, armadillo. Armadillo. Pious armadillo.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2017-05-08 00:42:18
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riced out engrams
the H129-26 Vyperizer (tm) from ROI (rtm) assists hypermodulation of ascpenct valvery much like that of the H129-25 Vyperizer (tm) from ROI (rtm) -- which assists hypermodulation of vesuvius-titmouse condensation to facilitate deeper arc(h)ing of the pan-synaptic trap -- with the exception being that the H129-26 Vyperizer (tm) from ROI (rtm) assists in the process of ricing out engrams. in this example, patented technology injects tigers into everyday memrawries to facilitate a more purrfect existancmeow future of meowkind meow meowgmented mealty meal roarity roar meow singularity morsels meow meow meow sneep
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-04-30 00:54:05
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cakes
one can only hope for a time when agent moe rescues alaskan larry in the guise of the fanman with a fatman plan. microwaves would be ostracized in this new splinter of reality -- thrice. plants would grow backwards. trees could gently grow the wind, if they would (if you will). do as thou shalt be the crow of the caw. cupcakes. cupcakes. cupcakes
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-04-26 03:59:56
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twelp twibble
twelp twibble pweep pwork plap plam scyaethitti poppitti boombitty ba ba botty back sleep easy on your roll. regex backreference snax takes a toll -- we have a leak. i didn't tell you because i knew you wouldn't believe me until you figured it out for yourself. there is orange marmalade in the sky and i find it to be beautiful, but that does not excuse your strange devotion to cupcakes. beepity boopity bop bop beep. yaealp. peep pelp. poop pop. pip pwop. twip twap. kerpebble. i don't write this shit here, man, i just work there, man, in this brain full of weasels everywhere. man
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-04-26 03:47:22
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wen ur friends come over and ur all like oi ked peep trax but then u realise u got no real m8s.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2017-04-24 16:32:07
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Events unfold
Strategic geopolitical prisms and unfortunate collateral incidents have caused concern in following weeks to the jabberwocky incident. The complexity of the subject was summarised and defunktulated by the easiest person Media Inc could get on skype in time. Easiest person stated "this is obviously stalins fault and I've said this was going to happen for years". Meanwhile random guy we just heard of stated in a press conference that "everything is fine, just fine" contradicting a previous statment from other guy we never heard of in the other country.....

Apologies our next article will not be shown because breaking news is coming in now that South Sudan has shifted their primary goal from genocide to nuclear capacity, the South Sudanese presminster has announced that they have been stockpiling nuclear weapons without the knowledge of international security agencies and plan to launch an initiative roughly translated as "Project Apocalypse Now, Why Not?". South Sudan has stated this initiative will categorically solve the convolution of international media. In other news-TSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2017-04-14 20:00:09
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she's a bit more than one
Check CH jr, she was going to have the right side up. At lest we forget to check in with the brakes and suspension; the same as the original. The following user name and password secret question is what you think you can get a chance to get a new one. But forget about the birds, they can't help you knowing the truth about she. Thanks again for all your hard work and the other side of things that are not in my control.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2017-04-13 16:51:56
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the bluchs are terrible people
the bluchs are terrible people. the bluchs give out apples and pennies instead of candy on halloween. the bluchs buy bruised vegetables, on sale. the bluchs do not donate to charity. the bluchs do not do drugs. the bluchs believe in god, but they do not go to church. the bluchs watch american idol, but they do not have a favorite contestant -- they like them all well enough (which is, to say, not much at all). so, you'll understand me, that when i tell you the bluchs are terrible people, i do not mean to imply that they do terrible things. frankly, if they did, that would make them much less terrible, simply via being something of note. instead, there is nothing. should alien life exist and visit this rock, the bluchs represent the singular most terrible choice of specimin to harvest and analyze. to do so would be to make a laundry list of everything humanity does that is simultaneously cringeworthy and uninteresting -- and we wouldn't want that.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-03-22 13:51:59
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TENTION DRIVERS!
tension wenches
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-02-20 03:24:58
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the good, the bad, and the peristalsis
i was waxing askimbo when the call came in. so i hung up and went to the loo
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2017-02-20 03:22:45
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