Riced Out Yugo
you're a rare noodle
so there's this korg wavestation ex sitting on the table and i have hedfones and a fone and it's like: maybe i could play the korg wavestation ex, listen to the fones on the phones output, use some connector bodge for the 1/L 2/R outputs to output to my fone's input (its hedfone jack).

we've been here before; my brain goes to work. the optimum arrangement would be a male 3.5mm jack with a 6-foot cable to a pair of split RCA outs, color-coded for left and right (ideally with gold-plated connectors [radio shack, we miss ya]). From there, a pair of (ideally gold-plated) RCA to 1/4" adapters.

My process is one of feeling a solution out from a matrix of data culled from years of previous trauma: A cable that breaks out to 3.5mm jacks will have questionable stereo-ocity. 3.5mm to 1/4" jacks further complicate stereo-ocity. they wedge out forever, putting more torque on the synth's connectors. grounding issues can emerge out of the woodwork. it is chaos. anarchy

no, the RCA to 1/4" are shorter, unarguably grounded, and any cable going 3.5mm to 1/4" is reliably color-coded, not anarchy, etc.

perhaps this could be an app. you input your synthesis cabling dilemma, and the app spouts out a few solutions that are projected to be most optimal.

wait... it would be MUCH better if you had the user input a list of what cables and adapters they had on-hand... so you could then compute optimal solutions based on what the user actually had on-hand (like, when i was really broke, once, i found this site. you would type in a list of the groceries you had, and it would split out a list of possible recipes [and that's how i learned to cook without eggs]) and then have referral links to a corporate sponsor (ideally radio shack). since you know what people have, and what they want to do, you are in a superb position to know exactly what to sell them.

...but, how would you get people to sit there and inventory their cables? i suppose the best psychological approach would be to break it down into a series of friendly questions like: "let's talk about plug adapters! gather all the plug adapters you aren't using, and take a photo." licensed google AI then takes over, inventory-ing the dongles, their quantity, type, gold-plated status, etc... 'thanks, super! next, find your unused cables with 1/4" plugs' and use that to unfold a flowchart of increasingly targeted AI questions.

shit, i think i'm just going to play the korg wavestation ex. and i'm not even gonna rekord git
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-09-13 00:47:05
Direct link to post Write comment

fragmentwinninol
polka reflectomleter lest it leflect lee lack. cordon boo mishmosh teripentintollwutti-bgutter. typing words is possible, but volitious. sometimes i soeakeajk with th e irc robot in german but it uhndernaderand i donty es.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-09-03 19:59:46
Direct link to post Write comment

water down your milk mouth window licker
Water in the bottle milk in the glass wateater in the bottle milk in the glass water in the bottle milk in the glass Water in the bottle milk in the glass wateater in the bottle milk in the glass water in the bottle milk in the glass Water in the bottle milk in the glass wateater in the bottle milk in the glass water in the bottle milk in the glass Water in the bottle milk in the glass wateater in the bottle milk in the glass water in the bottle milk in the glass aphextwinleakedmedia.gif
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-08-21 22:33:24
Direct link to post Write comment

snaux paw
fing done whops in the mexicotta wee-woo gesundheit my man have you done fiddled in the rain with gestapo complex? my massachusetts to your conscience, for the burrito bandit hath flown to the spiral parking garage de-ramp
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-08-04 23:13:42
Direct link to post Write comment

internet explotion
internet can u c my b1ink?
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-07-31 23:54:54
Direct link to post Write comment

the circuit of bargains
furious noodle begot pentium ziv in the effluvious infomalarky of intangible ted's circuit of bargain ciruits bargain store. i was searching for bargains on bargains on bargins when a circuit on a bargain caught my eye. this was what i'd been searching for. but could i further bargain this bargain this bargain this pargan this paragus as paragus et cetera? i was not so not so sure, of this i was certain. at the circuit. of bargains
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-07-06 06:39:05
Direct link to post Write comment

kie
do u wanna cookie
  cookie cookie cookie such   cookie

ookie
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-28 05:34:42
Direct link to post Write comment

computer graphics style: reanimation jutsu
...effervescent trount fanned and fawned on the intercostal plane of summoning billy mays. with the power of oxy-clean! come forth and crush thine enemies! or maybe just chill, you know, and cause some massive destruction. cool? ok.

so then billy mays climbs out of a gravity portal and performs the sacred jutsu of hucksterism and totally wrecks the band of cybernetic gangsters that just busted in off the screamcast and -- no? ok.

...well, okay, there's this american band trying to sound like a japanese band trying to sound like a 60's english pink floyd band and they're on their way to japan when the plane flies into a spacetime-continuum vortex. it's this freaky dark void with teeth and eyes. cool? ok.

so then a space billy mays climbs out of an intercostal space portal, ten times taller than the plane, and performs the sacred hucksterism of jutsu, sucking the cybernetic gangsters back over from the previous plotline. the cybernetic gangsters hurtle into the vortex mouths (which totally explains how the cybernetic gangsters got wrecked), and -- no? ok

so a supergenius has created a computer simulation of a computer simulation of reality. the simulation of the simulation of reality becomes more than just a simulation of a simulation -- it becomes a simulation. but, then, get this, right -- the simulation starts to become more than a simulation. it starts to become reality.

so then a cybernetic hacking gangster tumbles out of a simulation portal and his cyber avatar is billy mays. he performs the sacred jutsu of hucksterism and summons a...

huh?

dead? what do you mean, dead?

i don't care! i need him to star in my film. cast him by any means necessary. any. means necessary. and that means necessary

what? shit, yeah, alright. let's just do it with computer graphics
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-25 04:35:05
Direct link to post Write comment

everyone has a weakness
titanium lou was unamused. adamantium gary needed the stuff by thoisday, and bakelite ted was sitting on the crapper again.

"look," i belted out, losing patience -- "align the server with the setting sun, but offset fifteen degrees west. then patch apache"

titanium lou cut me off. "whoa, buddy! i told ya's, we don't run apache, we run drupal."

titanium lou never did have a particularly firm grasp of full-stack web development
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-24 18:23:18
Direct link to post Write comment

Why'd ya think Mike Colameco's hands look like android hands drawn by human hands as human hands?
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-06-19 16:38:44
Direct link to post Write comment

a brief malfuncqti
forthwith peeves are truncated plaps collapse sypapse peep peep peep yap. there are fifteen gutters in every dolphin, phyiscs has decreed. my eyeball is mauve. muave? mauve? muave? mauve? move meuve? i seem to havefig
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-15 02:14:28
Direct link to post Write comment

Entrance Exam
Welcome to your job entrance exam. There is no penalty for failing, but you cannot leave this room -- ever -- until you pass. Please be seated, possibly forever.

1] Analyze the corresponding subspace bracket for zimmolier structure theta, with the assumption that the local cheddar is excellent.

2] This question is multiple choice:

a) We'll see.
b) Go ask your father.
c) horse tranquilizers

3] Attached is the audio of Ms. Grettel's kindergarten classes singing Yankee Doodle, class years 2000-10. Implement a FFT and use a back-prop neural network to analyze the FFT's output. Train the network to sing Yankee Doodle. Submit a FLAC of your network's rendering, and your source code -- in javascript.

4] Please list every acronym relevant to the industry, and what you believe the acronym to stand for.

5] Compose an opera metal song about Donald Knuth. Extra points will be awarded for sounding like Blind Guardian.

6] Explain how you are helping to stop sexual harassment in the workplace.

7] Explain how pixels get on the screen.

8] Please tell us a little about yourself. Be creative!

9] Are you Certified to work In A Cubicle, in America, as a Citizen? [Y/N]


10] [*BONUS QUESTION*] Explain how to do something actually useful with existing quantum computers.

11] [*DOUBLE BONUS QUESTION*] Devise a foolproof rollout strategy for calibrating the ICC profiles on 20,000 assorted beige boxes running sundry flavors of linux.


Good Luck!
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-04 01:44:19
Direct link to post Write comment

job application
porkweight of the schnauzer jawn was dopely equivalent to the corresponding linnzazzlier equations. spacemont pictures the utmost mountain upon us, once again, fore sheesay. my popcorn is atrocious; please forgive me
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-04 01:10:36
Direct link to post Write comment

dubmood 5.25
melting saxaphones accent articulated wenches in a symphonous parsimony of eldridth snare rushes atop a gymboree of cretacious uberviscient obvulescence creating the assemblance of a pixel sundae on the moon of some distant planet. €2.35 via data airlines
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-06-03 22:31:30
Direct link to post Write comment

peek poke
with the rising vibes of the trogdyllian ghettoblaster placating my deepest syapses, i sank into a sigma-level rhythmic interlink. melting infrences sailed daftly by, like the interstitial lemonaide of undisinverted circumstance. i had but fifteen merits in my mathematical set; cards would must be housed with the delictissian of a forthnite. peet flap, peet flap, peet flap. you are a rising function call threatening to smash my stack of malarky, like a cloud server in the night. if only your responsiveness were 124ms, would you then be so brash? i think not. circumstances meet your vector were delet
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-05-31 06:46:10
Direct link to post Write comment

Has Anyone Else Noticed
Ok, now everything is sharp, and [application] crashes whenever I press a note on my keyboard... This might still be a problem with [application], (or my computer, or my keyboard, or my MIDI to USB interface...) but at least I know that it's not supposed to happen.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-05-25 03:30:43
Direct link to post Write comment

hey mr yugo guy

how does ham interact with other lunch meats?
it's like i literally never see them talk to each other.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-04-06 16:52:45
Direct link to post Write comment

Dear riced out yugo


How do cats choose where to sleep?
Cause it all seems particularly arbitrary to me.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-04-05 23:50:01
Direct link to post Write comment

Directly there
Even bread casts a shadow, though not necessarily evenly.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-03-09 17:58:57
Direct link to post Write comment

truck, large: (drives over face)
Yesterday at 11:39am ยท

Pllzzzz ppl stop falling for Tha devil's lies r children were born perfect like we were don't matter. wut ever . u wuz created Perfect God made u Tha way and wut U R ,Escape Tha matrix's.... Wut u consider real world is Fake not Real ,False Like all Tha rest of lies they tell U, This is a mirage , nuttin but a dream, a fairlytale U been told. And for those of us that know Tha truth it's a nightmare unless u know how 2 control way u percieve things or other ppl in this realm or dimension u exist in!!111!!1!!11!!!1
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-01-31 17:20:46
Direct link to post Write comment

Previous 20 entries