Riced Out Yugo
crazy person shoots citizens
horrible news, some crazy person shot some citizens
fnord
it happened in a public place. the news is talking about it a lot
the same thing could happen to you
the incident has affected the president deeply
but the government is here to help
no one is sure why the crazy person did what he did
you might be crazy too
he very well could have been your neighbor
and if you aren't yet, here's something to be paranoid about
he got the stuff for the attack from the hardware store and the internet
now that you're paranoid+crazy, please open your checkbook
the attacker acted alone, there were no red flags; no warning signs
do you want to be on tv?
now, time for a commercial break
what she said
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-07-23 01:59:59
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...
Did you ever get the feeling that hardly anyone is "real"?

In other news: 34987329874389759738927572064180650967926729749279068589237932
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-07-18 18:41:12
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communication problems
turbo eddie has da stuff. u have ta get dere rite quik, or its gunna be a mean trip up da rewt canals. klepzkersorskien iz da man 2 talk 2 on da issue. make sure youz maek da drop da way we talked bout. sawwy eye soundz liek soem old-skool mewuvie jerkoff whiles talkins bout da job, but i ust ad me istom eef oot
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-07-18 01:27:36
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Magical adventure to the shoe warehouse

REDUCED FROM £25 HOLY SHIT
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-07-17 15:51:45
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IT'S THE CAT'S PAJAMS

and also all sorts of other animals clothings

horsey, waters, cats, pajamas
tghe bee's knees
the biscuit's junket
the stevedore's pension fund
the wet bandits' calling card
the charititian's slush fund
the nixon's nose
the ricer's fin
the green pistachio
wait
what were we talkin about again
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-07-12 00:41:15
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HEY BUDDY
 
  • olive infrastructure
  • olivian architecture
  • olive bureaucracy
  • olive garden
  • olive oil
  • o'live and let'die
  • riced out olives
  • black olives
  • brown olives
  • fresh olives
  • virgin olives
  • slutty olives
  • old olives
  • new olives
  • jar olives
  • bar olives
  • on-sale olives

....whatever you call it,


i don't want it on my muthafuckin pizza or in my goddamn martini


Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-07-05 02:04:46
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M88ooooo888moo
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Posted by Rick Moran Is @ 2012-07-04 00:58:59
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Welcome


Riced Out Datas of Interest:
- Q
- Hats
- Replacement tubes
- Quantum foam
- Headerimg self awareness
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-06-29 11:26:59
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Problem Solver

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Not responsible for typographical errors. All prices subject to change without notice.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-28 17:25:13
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9yo hax
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-28 13:40:28
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agent flatwok
"FLEEP FLEEP tango delphi snoot snoot wombat" i blatted at the radio

"blurrarreeep blapblapblapppp" the radio squelched

"agent flatwok, do you hear me? come in agent flatwok. agent otl is now less than an ideal model. my plumbing is lucid. over."

there was a pregnant pause, and i finally got a response:

"sir, this channel is for the mcdonalds drive-through. could you please stop transmitting on it?"

"foul wench!" i cried "put on agent flatwok immediately. he told me he'd be available during breakfast hours!"

before she could reply, we were interrupted by 400lbs of average american family ordering sliders of lardrockets.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-27 17:26:07
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strafford streaming
streaming scraps of strafford apps * stirring shit; starting cisco collapse * leaving scraps of scraps of strafford streaming apps * apps take naps leading to strafford collapse
$10mil lost in a day. the board sacks upper management. in the chaos, no one ever got around to reconfiguring the router.

i'd fix it, but hey... i'm just the janitor.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-25 15:46:50
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shout-outs to the contents of my utility belt
yo yo let's hear it for my muthafuckin utility belt, the contents of which include:
  • caulk
  • hose tube
  • time dremel
  • steve revington: never outpunned, still an enigma
  • torch for melting nixon sandwiches on the fly
  • **barbara streisand
  • cypress grips
  • the london symphony orchestra
  • putty
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-22 09:26:17
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well really
If you think then release the projected income and add that to the schwarzschild radius that's going to cause trouble because 50% of the pie has to be realigned to the dampening field. Then of course there's when the projectivity linked HTML funk gadget. Dirigibility factor low, atmospheric conditions minimal. Greisen–Zatsepin–Kuzmin all at the afterparty and we got bottlecaps yo.
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-06-19 18:14:17
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in the presence of bacon cake
Freunde und Feinde! Damen und Werren! Frohe Weihtagen, Gute Nachmittermorgen, und willkommen im Arsch! Wir haben die echte Lösung für Ihnen!

First, BURN THESE MAGICKAL RUNES INTO YOUR MIND:

.......................................................
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...............................................####....
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...................................####................
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...........######................###...................
..........########........#.......#####................
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.........#........#.......#..............######........
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.......................................................


Now SPIN AROUND IN CIRCLES until you

~vomit furiously~

Now delete your Facebook account.

The Phallomancer raises his Staff aloft, and lo! The Pillars rise by his MIGHTY COMMAND from their Earthly Slumber!

Posted by Atomdrache @ 2012-06-18 01:04:08
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no comment
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2012-06-16 01:47:32
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douchecore vol. 1
Posted by shitbowl @ 2012-06-11 16:58:42
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GOOD EVENING CONTESTANTS
the categories are:

     1) presedential stains
     2) men who have fellated barbara walters at 20,000 feet
     C) innovations in graph theory
     D) the queen's underwear drawer
     E) sean connery

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-09 21:51:50
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Being Newt Gingrich
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2012-06-09 01:45:02
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obambo vs snantourm


Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2012-06-03 21:29:38
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