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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| FFFFFF | |
| CATS HAVE FUR ;;CATS HAVE FUR CATS H;AVE FUR CATS H AVE F/UR CATS HAVE FUR CATS HAVE FUR CATS HAVE FUR CAT;;S HAVE FUR CATS H;A;'VEg FUR C ATS HA VEhg FnUR CATS HAVE FUR CA TS HAVE FUR CATS .HAVE FUR CA7TS HAVE// FUR | |
| Posted by kitty @ 2004-11-05 01:04:26 | |
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| Zimberdoodle | |
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My '87 Toyota Corolla lazily careened towards the side of the street, only mildly damaging the fire hydrant.
Ah, the beauty of shitbox cars. I tended to buy $500 shitbox cars... because then I don't have to give a shit if it gets dented or towed. And no one fucking gives me shit at traffic lights. No one. Swinging out of the passenger side, I slid onto the sidewalk, narrowly dodging a low-flying walnut tree. Those things come out of nowhere, man. I headed towards the dingy, dark storefront, the only distinguishing feature of which was a faded turquoise logo that read "kitty". I marched in. Once inside, I wasted no time in my proclaimation: "Foo, baz, quux, bar, tell me where the fingulators are!" There was a sole creature behind the counter. kitty. The display case was totally empty, sans a few colorful pieces of yarn. "lollolol!" proclaimed kitty. "Zzounds, man, remit immeditely!" I demanded. "K dollars plz" kitty responded. I made with the dispensing of the dollars. Meeeeepsellent. It was all according to plan. The Toyota hadn't gone anywhere in my absence, so I slid in through the passenger side door, which I had conveniently left open. I swung a wide arc out on to the road, causing a pair of Lexuses to collide, one ramming the other into the glass window of a storefront (some store called "hamster"). I blasted across town, distributing karma retribution when necessary (sometimes it is so necessary). I pulled up another store labelled "kitty video production/grocery store". But I knew better than to be fooled by its benign exterior. It was really a factory of horrors. I walked in and approached the secretary. Some of their work was cycling on a monitor. Something about consuming A.D.D. remedies. "I'm Seargent Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker of the Hoboken Police Department. I need to visit your library and take a few select items." They couldn't argue with those kind of credentials. Man, I'm good at making shit up. I walked into the library. It was overwhelming. Entire scenes, odd noises, shapes, dancing wiggles, goatse, the pope, popese, kitties, magnets, john chiu, kitties, hitler, kitties, and lots of kitties. I walked out calmly with my materials. Soon, the plan would come to fruition! Then, I noticed my Toyota was not where I parked it. Fucking A. I got my car dealer, Roynaldo Dingo, on the phone. He had another beater I popped some quality transylvanian disco onto the stereo, swinging down the street. Man, this new ride was pretty nice. An ancient Saab. It wasn't quite greased lightning, but more like slightly greased lightning. Back in my lab, I used the fingulator's "permanent press" setting to synthesize the library's clips into an entirely new video... Yes, yes... soon. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-05 00:52:00 | |
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| Space prawn | |
| Craig T. Nelson wants you to join the BMG record club. Hambleturk fimmbillicle. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-04 03:32:13 | |
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| Quintessential alf flambé | |
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mimble wierdleton is transferring to fumpertron. can you find his bumblefinker before lime eats grout?
if you accept this quarterfink, and you are successful in your quest, you will be awarded thrity-threeve point threeve one for five nine golden flilinglewidgets. Do you accept this mission? You have selected, "Yes." OH NO A GRUE AAARehjkdfhgjknm.bn.c futzpink |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-03 20:28:47 | |
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| ARGH | |
CHEF BOYARDEE CAN SUCK MY COCK |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-02 20:19:20 | |
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| Howdy | |
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howdy partner
i hate to accuse you of testicular gesticulation, but this town ain't big enough for the sweedish and us |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-01 01:43:49 | |
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| National pact of Gruefunkistan | |
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ALL HAIL YE!! PUT DOWNETH THY NACHO PLATE AND HEAR HAIL YE!!112
Gruefunkistan! The nation I shall found on an island I will purchase! Muahahaa!!! Anyways... THERE HAS BEEN FAR TOO LITTLE POSTING HERE!@ THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE! zank fank wankentank yangtze-whee! the frank tank is headin' towards me! SAY THAT FIVE TIMES FAST! I DARE YOU!! ^____^ |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-01 01:18:30 | |
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| oi | |
LIE SAWL 2 jet me sinking dings
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bring it bitch
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| Posted by DOLT45 @ 2004-11-01 00:00:05 | |
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| meow | |
| my collar has a small bell attatched to it | |
| Posted by kitty @ 2004-10-31 23:51:36 | |
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| Happa woppa dirty stoppah, bling bling wabble wundah wattah | |
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HOLY SHIT!!!
There are NO POST-IT NOTES!!! How will people ever be able to engage in gueralla warfare in the corporate environment??? HOW? YOU MONSTER oh shit They've found me, they know I'm saying this!!! RUN!!! the thrice-buttocked limp-lobed anti-anti-ANTI-post-it note consortium!! please SEND HELP OH MYSHTISOGKLDFNbmmnmnnnnnnnnnnnnnquampunggdfh Chorus: Happa woppa dirty stoppah, bling bling wabble wundah wattah |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-29 00:02:02 | |
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| Squank | |
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IMBLE FIMBLE Quankle McQuimble My pants; fished an ocean of dispair. Fie; diachronic tandem, fie. My cake is tender and moist, like the suns of east asia. Pants ~~~ Juice liberally (C) 2004 RTQP!!!11 |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-21 01:39:13 | |
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| Squank | |
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IMBLE FIMBLE Quankle McQuimble My pants; fished an ocean of dispair. Fie; diachronic tandem, fie. My cake is tender and moist, like the suns of east asia. Pants ~~~ Juice liberally (C) 2004 RTQP!!!11 |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-21 01:09:34 | |
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| academic honda civic | |
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It is time for not. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-12 21:46:59 | |
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| w00t | |
| Krumbletron McFimble! I have my intellectual bling back! | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-12 20:01:40 | |
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| COHINGLE WAMP | |
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pants pants pants pants
wubba wubba i like da p a n t s. yo . . ....comin straightfuck mall security, fuck mall security!! AND OTHER HITS, ORDER NOW!!! in side news, grandma pelvis futures up 80% fidelity and stanley morgan have upgraded them to a "buy" status |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-09 00:49:56 | |
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| Hittae | |
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I hereby challenge everyone to say the following, ten times fast:
Jingle shingle pringle cringle pan, pie, and profits. Do you dare? |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-09-28 17:03:36 | |
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| The Story of J.J. Fux | |
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A long time ago, in a continent far, far from North America (quite possibly in Germany), there lived a man named J.J. Fux. He aspired to be a greatly renowned playwrite. His passion was tragicomidies, plays the combined comedy and tragedy.
He toiled, and eventually produced his first masterwork. It was a play about a master teaching a student, and then dying at the end. It had Fux's thoughts on how music should work (it was a side hobby). He called it gradus ad parnassum, the latin phrase meaning "o noble senator, please direct me to the funeral home with most haste." Fux's play was not well received by theater critics, but the rising music theory field attached to his work with vigor. And so, today, we have the misinterpritation that Fux intended the play as a music theory treatise. No, just the opposite: it was his first play. Sponsored by Wackenhut, Inc.THE MORE YOU KNOW ^_^ |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-09-28 02:58:08 | |
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| the plan is coming to fruition | |
| Very soon, Margaret Thatcher shall play her very first game of Twister(tm). Muahahaha!!! | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-09-17 01:14:55 | |
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| HELP | |
They like their food on the hoof, as it were.Where is that quote from!!?!?! A movie I think. Five thousand wonder-points to the remiter of the source name (I.E. FIND ME WHERE THIS COMES FROM AND POST ANSWER PLZ). Hurrah (W00T111!!) |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-09-08 17:25:24 | |
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| Zing zomp | |
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Chinese food restaurants can teach us a lot, with their charming, primitive (and sometimes tenative) grasp of the english language... most of the extraneous words are stripped away, and ones that somehow convey more meaning by themselves then amongst others are left behind. Often, subtle, amusing trends relating to humanity can be spotted. For example:
The two local restaurants that serve chinese food are Yummy House and Lin's Garden. If I asked you which one of those were healthier, you'd probably answer Lin's Garden (though you may not know why), and you will be right - Lin's Garden is more used by the extremely health conscious around here. Needless to say, Yummy House does a considerably brisker business. "Yummy" makes you think of good feelings, of pleasure, while "Garden" makes you think of health and things natural (and vegitables instead of general gau's). enough of this... the time has come. i have just tossed the Lin's Garden menu. i get so distracted by this crap. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-09-06 21:53:00 | |
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