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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| in soviet russia, russia soviets you! | |
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the following were documents anonymously leaked to the press. early speculators are already looking at k_arl r~ove, or as he is known in some circles, komrade humpskopf. we will not comment further, but let the documents speak for themselves. translated from russian by dr. pork u. good of porky translation, ltd.
twas zee year of 1962. komrade killzinoff had just planted zee explosives on zee outmost barrier of zee ham factory. boom, it vent. boom, right in zee vith that, i blew zee mighty v(w)histle, and zee army stormed zee factory!! it was glorious ham for all!!1~(C) 2622 the united states of japan |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-15 18:58:00 | |
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| great revelation | |
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETO |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-15 10:01:00 | |
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| political intrigue!!1 | |
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In a revelation that has stunned analysts on both sides of the politcal spectrum, the New Yugo Times has reported that Karl Rove was responsible for the leaking of the plot of the latest installment in J.K. Rowling's epic "Harry Potter" series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
Democrats have pounced on the White House in response, calling for Rove's firing or resignation. "Shocking," said Sen. John Kerry, "It is simply shocking that Mr. Rove would attempt to score partisan political points at the expense of innocent Harry Potter fans worldwide." Kerry also stated that he thinks the books are "Pretty darn neat." The Republican National Committee, meanwhile, has issued a "Rowling/Rove Resarch & Talking Points" memo, distributed by RNC Director of Television Propaganda Carolyn Weyforth. The memo contends that Rove did not release the plot information out of revenge, but rather to warn Matthew Cooper from getting "too far out" on a plot summary by R.L. Stein that was "...obviously false. Karl just wanted to make sure an incorrect plot wasn't leaked, because he cares about America." |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-14 13:43:00 | |
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| WARNING: CHILDREN ARE NOT TOYS | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-14 12:06:00 | |
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| Exploding cunt fuckers | |
| I have decided to declare the movie House Of Sand And Fog a tee hee ^ 3 production! Somewhat near the end of the movie a cop forces the husband, wife, and son to stay in their bathroom overnight. During the morning hours you see that the son and mother have shared the bathroom to sleep in using a towel as a pillow. You find that the father has not slept during the night, the son get's up and casually pulls his pants down to sit down for a nice morning shit. Feces level 2 and rising. This moment allows for a tee hee ^ 3 moment. Also Jennifer Connelly is in this and I'd love to fuck her all night. | |
| Posted by cakedrink the nefarious @ 2005-07-14 11:57:00 | |
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| you'd better be sorry, mister | |
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George W. Bush: Karl, go to your room! Karl Rove: wat George W. Bush: Never mind. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-14 11:49:00 | |
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| professor hamburglary | |
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today's yugo challenge is thus:
stare at the below image for three hours. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-13 21:07:00 | |
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| song | |
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i'm oscillator one you're oscillator two we're out of phase but i'd like to oscillate with you support tunEZ?! (C) 2097 vevolis hax unlimited, ltd. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-13 19:08:00 | |
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| wat.biz | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-12 15:33:00 | |
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| a rainstorm of exploding hobos | |
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a poem by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker hobos exploding! like a shuddering wave of doom acid hobo rain patters down on new york's sidewalks 25 cents plz; BOOM! pancake rain it is not. even though it would not save us we must save the world and all of its snax the only way is to apply lard to hobos |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-12 11:42:00 | |
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| linguistic request | |
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After years of careful phrase-budilding, I have come up with some smashing new meme-like quips!
Please incorporate the following into your everyday internet vocabulary:
Appendix A: crashing into police officers with bicycles This information is classified. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-11 22:57:00 | |
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| Post #451 | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-11 22:21:00 | |
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| hallmark moment, yugo style | |
welcome to the wonderful, fabulousRICED OUT YUGO POST 450!!$!@%363474kablooiesupport your local hax union! 450 smoke www.ricedoutyugo.com every day |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-11 22:12:00 | |
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| Jesus Christ Telecommuter | |
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telecommuter do wat?
telecommuter do hax. telecommuter do wat? telecommuter do hax. all of you, break the boogie down! wat hax wat hax |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-11 22:06:00 | |
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| Grammar drill | |
Today, children, we are studying the "ham" phenome.
Repeat after me:
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-11 21:34:00 | |
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| National parental alert!!11 | |
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A US media monitoring group has issued a "nationwide parental alert!!11" after hidden pornographic material was found in the popular cooking utensils marketed under the name, "Cooking utensils by Murray."
The organisation, National Institute on the Media and the Family, issued a warning instructing consumers to "Panic!1" after it was revealed that an upgrade to the cookware allows chefs to see pornagraphic images already contained within the utensils. The modification is called 'mmm snax' and was created by Patrick Wildenborg, 36, at the international cookery institute in the Netherlands. He claims that the modification adds nothing illegal to the cooking implements and merely allows consumers to see what is already present in the hardware. "If Cooking Utensils By Murray denies that, then they're lying and I will be able to prove that," said Patrick Wildenborg, mod author, in an email to Associated Press. "My mod does not introduce anything new to the utensil. All the fun stuff that my mod makes available was already present in the product." Cooking Utensils by Murray has produced some of the most controversial cookware of all time. In order to take part, chefs must stir soup, cook lentils, and praise satan. There have been calls for the products to be banned in some US states. "It should be clear to everyone by now that cooking utensils do influence young people," said Dr. David Walsh, author of the best selling book on teenage brain development, Why Do They Act That Way, and How the Hell Can I Stop It? "Cooking Utensils by Murray never belonged in the hands of kids. We are taking the unusual step of alerting parents to the pornography available through this crockware to any child or teen who is internet savvy." |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-11 09:06:00 | |
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| NLS | |
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Dear sir and/or madam:
You have been declared a national LOL source. Starting on the next business day, everyone in the nation will be instructed to laugh at you, for purposes of national security. Q: But I'm not funny enough. How can I be declared a national LOL source? Isn't this sort of duty normally reserved for funny-looking people? A: Well, with the war on terror, this nation's resources are stretched to the limit, and every citizen must do his or her part. You have been elected to provide LOL. Q: How long will I be required to serve as a national LOL source? A: You are required to serve as a national LOL source until released by the President of the United States. Usually, this is after a few days, but he's been a little busy, recently. Q: What if I am unable to serve as a national LOL source? A: Tough noogies. LOL. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-11 08:26:00 | |
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| Keen Eddie | |
| Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Andy Richter Control the Universe? | |
| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2005-07-10 20:30:00 | |
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| what is inside twizzlers? | |
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if, on a lazy day, one decided to closely examine a twizzler one was eating, he would notice that there is a hole running down the center of the twizzler. this begs the question: what is IN this cavity? air, perhaps, but what else have they added?
the answer is deep and scary. you will have to figure it out for yourself. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-10 14:31:00 | |
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| whoa | ||
the riced out yugo has you.not the matrix.this is the matrix: the matrix does not have you. this is riced out yugo: the riced out yugo does have you. Repeat, five times: "The riced out yugo has me." |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-09 15:51:00 | ||
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