Riced Out Yugo
call stack brinksmanship
crosstacular fingulations are my specialty, but don't quote me on that. i'm excellent with cross-mannerisms as well, albiet not with the same crisp punch of synthetic nosehair, $12.99. better than the real nosehair, if you are unable to gro nosehair, etc. sssmubject to terms and cronditionsms of mannertacular crosspicudity
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2019-05-19 03:13:56
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GESCOM ISSUES
I accidentally listened to keynell 3 times yesterday, wanna fight about it?
Posted by shitbowl @ 2019-05-05 17:40:32
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energy duck
energy duck smooth toothpaste the experience your mouth the bomb. smash placque mouth mit vesuvius (tm) patent under even the most stringent of gingerivitis circumstance. eat buick, get gas, live life -- for less than price of Traditional Easter Nerds® toothpaste
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2019-04-21 19:54:24
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Traditional Easter Nerds® toothpaste
  • 5 part calcium carbonate
  • 1 part diatomaceous earth
  • 2 parts baking soda
  • 3 parts xylitol powder
  • 3 parts coconut oil (organic)
  • 2 parts nerds® candy (finely ground)
Posted by shitbowl @ 2019-04-21 18:11:59
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it's the only way to pay
the man is addled that i'm getting entropy into his pool. i am hiding in an aioli micr0cosm of dinosaur graft, and i am in no mood to get out. the waiter brings me my check, and mastercard teleports me out of this parallel universe
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2019-04-15 05:56:21
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elbowa bounce me the elbow
tweed zackett outstrips interstitial marmoset bargain matrix the horde cheboygenesis my tutti the velocimommy. telt wing 15, you have your order
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2019-04-15 05:45:26
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DAMGED TSB PORT

Posted by shitbowl @ 2019-04-12 16:00:34
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stardate -9001 + 3i
i thot: nanite jim had better have those housatonic particles for me, or he's going to eat the south end of my armalite battleminger 4000, with the the particle beam set to extra burn.

fortunately for me -- and, actually, much more fortunately for nanite jim -- he had 'em. it was on with stage two of the mission....

bursts of ionized helium staggered by me in a photon-induced haze. truly, this was not an upscale neighborhood... but, i had a contact in a dive bar with a sentient particle beam that could, with the proper down-incentive, furnish me with the access code to the zyberborgiane xyzzyix.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2019-04-02 02:12:03
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xPct
my pivot laser is your excelsior dub. hy[ertenses the river of messhuugulachusetts binary poems in autumn are now out of aligment and you refuse to give them more.t appart trarlk coniiffs qoitingly undermidst the underpresent expatriate commune. fitzgerald kentuckey veduzengebloigen von mitzfeltzkried non pappa plil. didn't xpqt dat, didU?
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2019-03-31 03:34:14
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tjings happen
there i was, the veritable cyberperogie haxing utmost tweens unto mine own self. unsure about i was jist about toweet treeviously -- and i find it inferniating; i cannot remember ibn=nthe vsn vsn csnnt vs vs n vs cabbest. have u ever remember tjat fong u cant' re,e,ember? yeh. yeh
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2019-03-29 03:43:27
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buzz tracker feed hacker
the woman disappears, and her cloud-pattern mumu turns into a balloon and drifts upwards. it gets stuck against the corregated aluminum ceiling of the garage. for some reason, this troubles you immensely.

the sound of a set of silverware being thrown down stairs, run through paulstretch, slowed 50x

"Are we in the information age?" I ask.

"Dude, shut up." says a voice from the back.

i suppose a sort of faith in the order of the universe. if it's time, it will show up. if it's not, it won't. meanwhile, i'm not in a rush. it's a funny sort of memory, that only works in reverse.

i just let the marbles roll through my brain tubes, weasels restructuring tubes constantly, the marbles land, the universe has decided. this is the process i use to pick table, chair, and chair orientation when i deign to grace the mall food court (the one with the flowy ocean arc roof window) with my vote.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2019-03-16 06:49:52
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Alpaca for scale


send nudes 4 alpaca, nevermind she don't want nudes...
Posted by shitbowl @ 2019-03-07 17:41:09
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Socio-political oblogations









Posted by shitbowl @ 2019-02-12 20:11:25
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We are unfinished Sudokus
We are Not looking too deep into the NTS sessions, sry
Posted by shitbowl @ 2019-01-22 18:13:03
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WiFi Error


Failed to schporkle. Please reestablish link and try again.
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2019-01-16 18:51:24
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here's a better idea
oh, come on... we're all a collage. i didn't invent computers. i didn't invent binary. heck, i didn't even invent numbers, and i use them every day -- like they're nothin'. don't pay nobody any royalties for numbers. this good idea i had, like, it's just crushed up fragments of previous good ideas
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2019-01-05 01:09:50
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dis dood rite here
eats pork everydayaallday jus like shawn
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-12-07 17:52:19
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bethesda bugworx
re: fallout 76
this memo came across my desk, and i am posting it verbatim:

See, this is what people don’t understand: Bethesda doesn’t simply create video games, they build interactive, social, multimedia experiences about video games. The bugs, the bags, the pii leaks, the internet rage; those are all just expertly engineered elements of a meta game that simulates the experience of trying to play a game called Fallout 76. This particular metagame is actually quite multilayered and mirrors the player experience of the purported Fallout 76 game: you become a meta vault dweller in a meta vault! It’s a daring and profound commentary on the nature of video games, entertainment, and the human condition.

Of course, true gamers know that the real fun isn’t in the meta game, but in the meta meta game, that is: in watching people online work through the Fallout 76 meta game. There are even betting parlors for this type of thing on the dark web, provided you know where to look
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2018-12-06 04:24:30
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Medical Professionals
Ricedoutyugo along with its subsidiaries wholeheartedly asks you how the fuck you're going to pay your bill that you have not requested so insoforth you have not received. Your bill will be transferred to ricedoutyugo collections agency yesterday. If you have requested your bill and so far as such paid your bill you can still pay it again and we will take your money even as so far in such we have never sent you a bill but are stating in this post you owe us money, we're pretty sure, and must request a bill whether you paid it or or even have a bill, call us if you want but we won't know anything and just keep sending you letters stating you have a bill that you probably paid but we still want you to know you have a bill but we don't know where it is or how to get it to you that's not our department here's a cute onesie though.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-11-20 17:54:21
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Neo-vaporwave historian
Welcome to the parquet lounge™
Posted by shitbowl @ 2018-10-14 01:06:10
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