Riced Out Yugo
YUGO
YUGO LABS
ALSO WIK
MANGO JUICE,

now with added apple juice just to DECEIVE YOU
Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2024-12-27 01:10:49
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retornam
bx lr! pop pc!
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2024-12-25 17:15:47
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Say hello to Zenith™
Say hello to Zenith™, our full-flow staged-combustion booster engine, built to power Nova to orbit TB-303 rocket blasting off into the acid house
Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2024-12-24 00:27:25
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habitually casting my airs

TEN THOUSAND YEARS WILL GIVE YOU SUCH A A A A A A A A A A A A A

choo
Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2024-12-22 00:52:28
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glyphs
ui glyphs
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2024-12-12 10:09:52
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OKAY MARBLES
keep those marbles rollin'
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2024-12-12 08:34:53
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keep buying weed with the world
Don't get your miscellaneous filters from the grocery store please it's much more efficient to buy bulk.
Posted by shitbowl @ 2023-10-10 01:27:02
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taster's choice
we've secretly replaced lauren boebert with 'sammi sweetheart' from The Jersey Shore. let's see if viewers notice she's on the wrong reality TV show
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-10-03 06:09:51
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LINUX MARKETING RESEARCH POLL
LINUX MARKETING RESEARCH POLL sponsored by the Riced Out Foundation for Linux (R.O.F.L.)


please answer each question on a scale of 0-7. eight lucky winners will have their wayland bug tickets elevated! WARNING: just to remind you, any emails to the list about the technical merits of octal [or lack thereof], and or/preferences about zero-indexing _will_ get you blacklisted. please don't feed the tro^H^H GOP.


- Are You George Santos? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

- Has George Santos Ever Used Linux? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

- Would George Santos be willing to try Hannah Montana Linux™ for a week? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

     - ... From Jail? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

- Are You Lauren Boebert; vaping and groping Beetlejuice? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

- How many x86 compatible desktops are in Lauren Boebert? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

- How much does Lauren Boebert plan to spend on graphics accelerator cards (GPUs) in 2024? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

- How loudly does Lauren Boebert complain when BSD is not mentioned? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

- How far can Mark Shuttleworth shove his IPO up his fundament? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

- Can Matt Gaetz even type? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)

Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2023-09-27 02:16:51
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Stochastic Sideband Weltanschauung Injection
caution: we're experimenting with a new technology to foment synchronicity for the purpose of marketing products
Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2023-09-26 08:12:51
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sent a mental

leant a pencil on a stencilled lentil
Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2023-09-24 00:17:48
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would it be socially appropriate
a standard path to first-time dog ownership is seeing someone else's dog fetch the paper, and they are so charmed by this that they develop a powerful urge to acquire a dog themselves, and train it to fetch the paper [and this is how dogs procreate].

i am fundamentally built the same way, but i have some damaged genome -- upon seeing someone's dog fetch the paper, i was so charmed by this that i developed a powerful urge to acquire a dog myself, and train it to bark at salad. instead i got a yellow lab that went into fits of sneezing at the mere sight of celery; no training required.

this was good enough for me at the time, but i'm looking to the future: something something, there are only two possible future for me at 45 years old: 1) i'll be dead, or B) I'll own a house. Personally, I would prefer the latter -- because then I can have a dog. And do this properly

i would acquire a bassett hound train him to howl loudly; mournfully whenever he detects salad in the room. then i can insist he is my service dog, take him to a restaurant, and we'll have a little schtick: I'll say, "Ohhhh, gosh, please, please, get that salad away, for the love of god, you're torturing him" and the situation will be so simultaneously strange and obnoxious that this will actually be done [despite it being someone else's salad at a restaurant i do not own]. at that point, my basset hound would get snoozy in the ensuing awkward silence... and, ideally, fart¹ loudly. "would it be socially appropriate to grimace in displeasure, or would that upset this man's service dog's delicate disposition any further?"

i'm not sure why i'm sure of this -- i have nothing against salad. but i'm sure

¹ Can you train dogs to fart? I mean, there are some things dogs simply can't be trained to do [nodding, whistling, matrix multiplication] and farting might be one of them
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-09-22 05:18:24
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Peanut is a sassy girl 
      if she doesn’t get her 
blueberry yogurt in the morning
the sassy girl, with the one who will definitely hear about it
I definitely hear about it
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-09-17 10:51:52
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pulling such a heinous vacuum
Chick chick chicken just sitting chic chicken sittinin the day
chickin sitting in the middle of the day. In the desert.
chic chick chicken sittin in the desert in the desert chicken sittin in the middle of the day in the desert chicken sittin in the day in the day in the day.
in the desert
in the the day in the desert chicken. Sittin. In the day in the desert in the day
chicken sittin
chicken chic chicken just sittin
Posted by shitbowl @ 2023-09-14 20:55:29
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goof bullets
sometimes the haiku
is just lazy fucking crap
thinking it's clever
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-09-07 04:46:05
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[INTERNAL MEMO] Acquisition of The Goose Brand™
This constitutes material information; Do not read

Riced Out Industries has recently made a sharp acquisition by purchasing the up-and-coming The Goose Brand™ brand, which -- for those of you not in the know -- sells precisely three things:
  1. Black Poofy Jackets with The Goose Brand™ logo
  2. Black Baseball Caps with The Goose Brand™ logo
  3. White-Label Vinyl Records [mostly acid house]


A NOTE FOR EVERYONE: I'm sure you've seen the logo of the goose wearing the poofy jacket -- clearly worth the price of acquisition alone. However, we've already had some confusion: While the official The Goose Brand™ yellow is close to our trademarked Riced Out Yellow™, it is actually Acid House Yellow. Having formally declared this, we'll remind you that using the wrong yellow is now punishable by trout.

With that out of the way, we have big plans for The Goose Brand™. We've already lined up Ansel Elgort as brand ambassador! We'd welcome any feedback on the attached treatment for our first national TV spot as new owners.

------------------------------------ 

ansel elgort is at da club and all the girls at 
his table; he takes one home

the next morning he wakes up and instead of ansel
elgort it's some pimply guy with glasses and the
chick whose house it is sees him and is like, oh,
uhh, errr.... I mean good morning¹

the guy says, "I freaking love this jacket"

then he puts it on and poof! he transforms back
into Ansel Elgort in a puff of smoke

then it's just a goose brand logo for a second or
two with a disclaimer: The Goose Brand™ will not
actually turn you into Ansel Elgort²

¹ This is 2023 and it has to be like we see her
real reaction but then we see her catch herself
and be polite because she doesn't want to hurt the
pimply guy's feelings. Because if she vomits or
something that would imply a lack of consent

² The disclaimer is in, like 60pt red font as in
ha-ha this is a disclaimer, it really is, but
we're also being ironic
Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2023-07-31 06:20:08
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tactical error
error musk
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2023-07-17 05:15:08
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Courting Song for the Medium Squids

pussy gibe your octopush
in the push the benis bush
beak on, call me, what's ur cell
if eight leg, veganaswell?

octopussy ink me dad
make me scare. make me mad.
mollusc bollusc stores the pee
from shining sea to mining V
Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2023-07-14 22:03:48
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nusrey rhaim

sing a song of sixpence
a pocketful of rye
four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie
when the pie was opened
the birds began to sing
Florida Man Ate 24 Live Blackbirds. This is What Happened to His Body
Posted by TRIANGUL THE ALMIGHTY @ 2023-07-14 21:57:03
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em-es-DOSS
Posted by shitbowl @ 2023-07-06 18:52:10
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