DEAR SIR AND/OR MADAM,
I AM THE ACTING MANAGER OF THE LOL FARM OWNED BY THE LATE ZAKARIUS WIMBLETON TRES WAT MCFEEFLE IV WHO RECENTLY PASSED AWAY IN A TRAGIC GOAT ACCIDENT. WE HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO LOCATE THE HEIRS NAMED IN HIS WILL, AND I WORRY ABOUT LOSING THE QUIET, SIMPLE LIFE OF FARMING LOL THAT I CURRENTLY ENJOY. THE LOCAL LOL BARONS ARE CRUEL AND UNFEELING, AND IF THIS LOL FARM IS NOT CLAIMED, IT WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY FALL INTO THEIR HANDS, AND THEY WILL PAVE IT OVER WITH LOLMAC AND BUILD A GODLESSLY EFFICIENT LOL-FACTORY. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY, ONLY LIVING THE SIMPLE LOLIFE. AS SUCH, I AM LOOKING TO TRANSFER OWNERSHIP OF THE LOL FARM TO A THIRD PARTY WITH NO INTEREST IN SELLING IT, AND WILL FOREGO ALL SHARES OF THE LOL PROFITS IN EXCHANGE FOR BEING ALLOWED TO CONTINUE MY LOLFULL EXISTANCE. AS SUCH, I CONTACTED MY LAWYER, THE GREAT ZACHARIUS CHESHIRE CLAMP MCGEEZER III, AND HE RECOMMEND I DECLARE A FOREIGN PARTY AS RECEPIENT OF THE TERMS OF THE WILL. AS SUCH, I ACQUIRED ONE (1) COPY OF THE MANHATTAN YELLOW PAGES AND SELECTED A FINE MADAM AND/OR GENTELMAN TO FUFILL THIS ROLE (YOURSELF). IN EXCHANGE FOR MERELY SIGNING A FEW LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND PROVIDING SOME INFORMATION, YOU WILL TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THE LOL FARM AND RECEIVE ALL LOLFITS RESULTING YEARLY. WHILE THE LOL OUTPUT VARIES FROM YEAR TO YEAR, LOLFITS HAVE NOT BEEN BELOW THIRTY MILLION AMERICAN LOLS (L$30,000,000.00) SINCE THE GREAT ROFL DROUGHT OF 1987. ALL I ASK IN RETURN IS TO REMAIN AT MY POST. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN AIDING ME, PLEASE CONTACT ME A- hold on I have to go pay the nigerian internet cafe more $$$
PLEASE CONTACT ME AT THIS ADDRESS.
SINCERELY YOURS,
ZIKARIUS NOTTINGHAMSHIRE ZOOTZI MCAFFLE VI
GOD BLESS
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