THANK YOU FOR YOUR PURCHASE OF A 39-AUF-Q SUBMERSIVE JAUNDICE INTERFACE! A NEW WORLD OF DUPLEX SERIAL COMMUNICATION AWAITS YOU. FIRST, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO MAKE SURE YOUR 39-AUF-Q HAS ARRIVED WITH THE FULL CONTENTS:
- 39-AUF-Q SUBMERSIVE JAUNDICE DEVICE
- INSTRUCTION MANUAL
IF ANY OF THESE ARE MISSING, PLEASE CONTACT THE RETAILER FOR A REFUND.
NEXT, ENSURE YOUR SYSTEM IS COMPATIBLE WITH THE 39-AUF-Q. SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS INCLUDE:
- SMART ELECTRONICS VER3 OR GREATER
- CPU CAPABLE OF JUGGLING MORE THAN SIX BALLS
- FOUR ROTTING BANANAS IN THE KITCHEN
IT IS TIME TO SET UP THE 39-AUF-Q SUBMERSIVIE JAUNDICE DEVICE. PLEASE FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS:
- REMOVE THE 39-AUF-Q FROM ITS HERMETIC, RADIATION-SHIELDED ANTI-STATIC BAG. THERE MAY BE A BRIEF RUSH OF AIR AS YOU BREAK THE SEAL -- THIS IS NORMAL.
- REMOVE THE COVER FROM YOUR SYSTEM, ENSURING THAT THE POWER REMAINS ON AS YOU DO SO.
- STICK A PENCIL IN THE CPU COOLANT FAN AND COUNT THE NUMBER OF CLICKS IN TEN SECONDS. IF IT IS MORE THAN 500, YOUR SYSTEM IS SIMPLY TOO COOL FOR THE 39-AUF-Q. PURCHASE SOME JUSTIN BIEBER AND/OR KENNY G RECORDS AND THEN REPEAT THIS STEP.
- CONSTRUCT AN AIR CANNON CAPABLE OF PRESSURES IN EXCESS OF 120PSI WITH AN ELECTRONIC VALVE MECHANISM
- LOAD THE 39-AUF-Q INTO THE BARREL OF THE AIR CANNON AND CHARGE TO MAX PRESSURE.
- STANDING BACK AT LEAST 20 FEET TO AVOID SHRAPNEL, FIRE THE 39-AUF-Q DIRECTLY AT YOUR MOTHERBOARD
- INSTALL DRIVERS AND REBOOT
YOU ARE ALL DONE, CONGRATULATIONS! RICED OUT INDUSTRIES WISHES YOU MANY HAPPY YEARS OF TELECOMMUNICATIONS.
FOR TECH SUPPORT, CALL 1-900-BIG-TITS.
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