tonight juno reactor will open for john mccain at the verizon cisco citgo turbo arena 3000. juno reactor will preach from a bible of funky beats, aided by dennis hastert on xylophone and glockenspiel. trust us, that sounds insane, but you will shit your pants when you see how well this man plays the goddamn glockenspiel. he was wasting his time in politics. speaking of which, john mccain follows with his intelligent softshoe boogie (ism) dance n music n light show act. a splended time is guaranteed for all, unless you're in a concentration camp (gitmo). stay for the afterparty with dj rtqp, who will spin mad trax, and slip in occasional nuggets of sudden, violent sauchnic trauma. when it is time for the evening to end, he will load his patented "motion sickness" synth patch. $5 door, drinks $2, 21+, don't be a jerk and we won't have any problems k
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