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Your majesty.
There are some things that one just wonders: - What's that bleepy thing in that song I'm listening to? - What is the GNP of Botswana? Does it HAVE a GNP? - Where CAN I purchase quality electric caninds? - How the FUCK does my Honda's engine work? - What does Trent Reznor store in his sock draw? The big one, I mean. It is the last question that I will take a half-assed philosophical stab at, in an attempt to win you over to my side of the situation, your majesty. Aristotle SHANK ...I'm sorry, your majesty... ever since that stay in princeton... anyways. Some individuals of less vision might posit that Reznor stores only socks in his sock draw. It is simple to make a strong argument that such is not the case: often, when someone refers to such a storage unit, it may contain other undergarments, such as size XL tacos. It may not even be a drawer. It may be a storage bin. Sweet... sweet... storage bins... uuuhhhh... ...I'm sorry, your majesty. Anyways, I will continue. This possibility brings us to presumption one. Presumption one: Only boring people with lots of socks keep only socks in the sock "draw." Presumption two: Trent Reznor is not boring. One can presume this from his drastic fear of pigs and substantial collection of beautiful, rare, expensive, smashed-on-stage synthesizers. With such indications, we can infer that Reznor not only stores more than socks in the aforementioned storage unit, but something interesting. This is conjecture one. I doubt he has a repository of quality electric canids in his Sock Storage Unit (hereafter abbreviated "SSU") - while he is a man of great means, the infamous "red robe" picture dictates that he is not a man of taste. At least while intoxicated. Which brings us to lemma 1: Since Trent's SSU != Boring, I have no idea what the fuck I am arguing. After all, who doesn't hate Robert Heinlein in a mumu? For the great Confucus said: "Robert Heinlein in great mumu is large amounts of teh ass." Since ol' Robbie is busy numbering the beast and doens't have a mumu, we can safely conclude, beyond a reasonable doubt, that Trent Reznor stores the mumu of the moment in his SSU. The sociopolitical ramifications of such fiduciary disruptions are immense, and stress the potential religious consequences of the situation. Pope Johnny P wouldn't be tossing his hat up on this one - no sir (unrelated warning: the hat contains a freon laser). The presence of the mumu in the renowned Reznor SSU is perhaps the greatest archeological find of the 18th century. It is essential, your majesty, that you sponser a small fleet of three ships, so that we may travel to the Reznor India and bring back the finest mumus this country has ever seen from the depths of the Reznor SSU. I thank your for your time, your majesty. And that is a SMASHING ski mask, if I may say so, your majesty. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-08-25 23:55:36 | |
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