Riced Out Yugo
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This is a Political Blog (Plog / Blawg)
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MY FRIEND.

CONSERVATIVES DO NOT FIGHT FOR THE FETUS OUT OF LOVE, BUT RATHER FOR COWARDICE AND FEAR.

YOU SEE, THE FETUS IS ACTUALLY THE NATURAL ENEMY OF THE CONSERVATIVE, AS, IF PROPERLY CARED FOR, THEY CAN TURN INTO CHILDREN, WHICH, AS THEY AGE, TEND TO BRING ABOUT CHANGE. AND CONSERVATIVES ARE AGAINST CHANGE, BY DEFINITION.

MOST PEOPLE, HOWEVER, ENJOY SOME GOD DAMN CHANGE ONCE IN A WHILE, AND SO THE CONSERVATIVES HATCHED A PLAN TO ALLOW THE FETI TO TURN INTO CHILDREN, AND DISCRETELY KILL MOST OFF, BEFORE THEY AGED TOO FAR.

THIS WAS, IN REALITY, DONE VIA THE BIDDING OF XALVAFFA FLAVVIER XXVIV, GRAND EMIR OF THE PLANET WATTITAR VII, WHO HAD A NEFARIOUS PLOT.

THE PLOT WAS AS FOLLOWS: HE WOULD ATTEMPT TO RECRUIT A FEW OF THE MOST IGNORANT, GREEDY RINGWRAITHS IDIOTS PRESENT IN THE NATIVE POPULATION. HE WOULD THEN GIVE THEM POWER TO SEVERELY DISRUPT THE NATIVE SOCIETIES OF PLANET EARTH.

IF THE PEOPLE OF EARTH MANAGED TO NEUTRALIZE THE THREAT, HE WOULD INVITE THE PLANET TO JOIN THE GALACTIC SUPERFEDERATION AND GAIN NEW TECHNOLOGY, RAD P.S.I. POWERS, AND HOT CHICKS.

BUT, IF THE GROUP OF IGNORANT, GREEDY IDIOTS MANAGED TO DESTROY THE PLANET'S CIVILIZATION - OR JUST MOST OF IT - HE WOULD FEED THE PLANET TO HIS GALACTIC SHREDDER, AND MAKE IT INTO OATS FOR HIS PEOPLE.

WHY WAS THIS PLOT NEFARIOUS? XALVAFFA FLAVVIER XXVIV WAS A MYSOGINIST.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-14 18:23:00
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