rICEDoUTyUGO ~ the grocery connection

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the grocery connection
the cashier breathed a sigh of relief. i, the reverend tedward q. porktanker, had just walked out the door, and she was relieved. hence the sigh of relief.* edmund franchesca IV was due to stop in. she noted that i had seemed to acquire a vague sense of unease from the elderly lady that repeatedly showed up from around corners, staring vacantly, jaw slack, and not really doing anything in particular other than that. always to his LEFT side. it was one of the many things she wondered if the elderly did deliberately. sure enough, a cadillac vaguely the shape of a rolling brick showed up, and edmund franchesca IV kicked the door open with vigor that would have made chuck norris cry with envy. then, he promply tripped on the car's ersatz platinum frame and smacked into the pavement. that was the signal... she thought. oh. fucking. shit... that was... she hastily reached under the counter and pressed the blue button, as she had been told (not the red one, that one is for a stick-up). the building's foundation began to shake. the elderly lady, still unable to locate something she had passed six times - having walked around the store at least that much - was merely spinning in place. when the floor tiles started to crack, she lost her composure, and cans of soup that she had been shoplifting started to clink out. there was no escape for her at this point, anyways, as the floor was beginning to give in. karma at work. the cashier, meanwhile, only saw this with a last glance, as she mostly focused on getting her person out of the path of the impending inferno. then, more than a tad too late, she realized that edmund franchesca IV had, improbably, tripped in a manner that appeared identical to the signal. fuck. nevermind how i'm writing this *i'm down with the human condition
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-29 14:42:00
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