Riced Out Yugo
riced out yugo is at the forefront of the battle for the heart and mind of the internet
all consumer and no thought makes jack a squalid citizen
all consumer and no thought makes jack a squalid citizen
all consumer and no thought makes jack a squalid citizen
all consumer and no thought makes jack a squalid citizen
all consumer and no thought makes jack a squalid citizen
all consumer and no thought makes jack a squalid citizen
all consumer and no thought makes jack a squalid citizen
all consumer and no thought makes jack a squalid citizen
all consumer and no thought makes jack a squalid citizen
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-30 20:23:00
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Yugo bizness
the trills of ryllium thrills spill softly over the same ones as someone comes.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-30 12:20:00
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Yugo Loader v2.3
Loading stage 2.5, mounted yugofs (root) read-rice

Compiled on delicounter at 30 Jul 2009
Warning: Preposterous time in real-time clock. CHECK AND RESET THE DATE
Starting initscripts: engine, spoiler (loading firmware... Done), gfstriped, login
Primary init finished, Watley, the Yugoix Watipus should be on your primary dashboard.
If he's not, tap SOS (... --- ...) on /dev/horn for failsafe boot. Waiting
3\b2\b
Failsafe signal detected, spawning console on ciglight1
yugoix 9.10 login:

syslog: rt1 rear tire on fire
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-07-30 03:09:00
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Remember kids,
Uncle Apop says 1+1=3, 3-1=2. Right next to the pikachu on the bottom right panel of the lower cd art, the one underneath the disk. All vector must be Illustrator 6 EPS.
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-07-30 01:58:00
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NEWS FLASH
Today is the last day of the first days of the End of Days. Consider yourself warned.

Also, consider buying dehydrated asparagus stalks. In bulk. You won't regret it.

Additionally, in an alternate timeline (one in which we did not post this message), James "Drywall" McKimmey will be conceived tonight in a Plymouth Grand Voyager. He would have grown up to cure cancer, but Paul McKimmey will waste too much time reading and contemplating this post. He'll be late for his date with Jane Allister, who will throw soda on him when he finally shows up. She will storm off and never speak to him again, making the birth of little Drywall impossible. So Paul, since we know you're reading this - great job, asshole. You're already too late, but we know you're going to try to make it anyway. Just be sure to bring a towel.
Posted by Robots From The Future @ 2006-07-29 17:33:00
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trechnical netralitty
WE ARE DOING AN OPINION SURVEY TONIGHT MADAM, QUESTION ONE: HOW MANY DOLLARS PER VOTER AHEAD OF A COMPETING CANDIDATE WOULD AN UP AND COMING CUCUMBER HOW TO DUMP ON AN ELECTION TO WIN IT
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-29 16:19:00
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the grocery connection
the cashier breathed a sigh of relief. i, the reverend tedward q. porktanker, had just walked out the door*, and she was relieved. hence the sigh of relief.**

edmund franchesca IV was due to stop in. she noted that i had seemed to acquire a vague sense of unease from the elderly lady that repeatedly showed up from around corners, staring vacantly, jaw slack, and not really doing anything in particular other than that. always to his LEFT side. it was one of the many things she wondered if the elderly did deliberately.

sure enough, a cadillac vaguely the shape of a rolling brick showed up, and edmund franchesca IV kicked the door open with vigor that would have made chuck norris cry with envy.

then, he promply tripped on the car's ersatz platinum frame and smacked into the pavement.

that was the signal... she thought.

oh. fucking. shit... that was...

she hastily reached under the counter and pressed the blue button, as she had been told (not the red one, that one is for a stick-up).

the building's foundation began to shake. the elderly lady, still unable to locate something she had passed six times - having walked around the store at least that much - was merely spinning in place.

when the floor tiles started to crack, she lost her composure, and cans of soup that she had been shoplifting started to clink out. there was no escape for her at this point, anyways, as the floor was beginning to give in. karma at work.

the cashier, meanwhile, only saw this with a last glance, as she mostly focused on getting her person out of the path of the impending inferno.

then, more than a tad too late, she realized that edmund franchesca IV had, improbably, tripped in a manner that appeared identical to the signal.

fuck.

*nevermind how i'm writing this
**i'm down with the human condition
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-29 14:42:00
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bash bash bash bash
BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BAABBHASH BABSVBHABASH BABSH BASH BASH HASB BASH BASH WASSABIIIIIASH BASH BASH BAH BASHA BO BASHA MILING DOODI DASHSAaaASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH HOLE POTATO 24 PART 9
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-29 14:27:00
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Yugo Backup Plan
In the event of horrible server tragedy, a Riced Out Yugo friend has contributed the following data protection plan:

This backup system is high-end, with FTSOJ technology, and scales across the enterprise well.
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-07-29 02:13:00
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rlsql$ insert into coca_cola values (RUM);
Query OK, 1 row affected.

rlsql$ select * from drink(coca_cola);
Query OK, 1 glug glug glug glug glug glugSegmentation fault (core dumped)
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-07-29 01:20:00
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lunker
Snatribut watt hut rumble
futricide rample
You knoi....
Rafthunt runner trudge
hivestrogeneratornamentosmiumbilical
iforniagarabianteaterrestrialuminum
ericedoutyugo
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2006-07-29 00:44:00
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zeppelin fabu; warhol warhol; wat a. wathole


scale for effect
Posted by Andy Wathole @ 2006-07-28 11:03:00
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recent private sector news in brief

micro$oft: Reduced Money Edition!!!11`qqq?
eUrOpEaN uNiOn: just say edition N!!!

and the dow climbed the hill to the KFC at the intersection
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-27 17:26:00
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I'M DETECTIVE JOHN BOLTON!!1!11~~seven

OBEY

Posted by fuckle @ 2006-07-27 14:21:00
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nordgrunds IV

VOET 5 FORr YUGOs!!~!#~!@#

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-26 17:52:00
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Riced Out Yugo saves lives
In this day and age, where most Americans have surpassed the point of obesity where x-ray, ultrasound, and MRI alike become unable to peer through the depths of their massive flab, there is but one ray of hope for these ladies and/or gentlemen: Riced Out Yugo.

Yes, no matter how obese, buried, and insane the average American (tm) is, Riced Out Yugo can see right to their core, allowing efficient and immediate medical diagnosis of problems such as:
  • Eating disorders
  • Reality TV addiction
  • Republicanism
  • Post-HoHo syndrome
  • Slushie syrup overdose
  • Litotes
  • Hyperstimulation of the adrenal gland
  • Gullibility
  • Patriotism
To date, the only company producing Riced Out Yugo scanning equipment is Riced Out Yugo, though it is suspected that Socrates posessed an early variation of this technology.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-26 10:55:00
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Cold is the hax
239 193 196
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-07-26 01:14:00
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computer application
Riced Out Yugo is an application for your computer machine. It boasts the following features:
  • Crash only when desired by the user (press ctrl-alt-shift-scrolllock-sysrq-f5, then within 1 second, ctrl-alt-rightshift-numpad8-esc)
    • Qualify dynamic link-time requests via a depth-breadth-sidesearch algorithm with neural processing
      • Compilation of AT&T ASM source into nasm format, then to hexcode for the MC68000 CPU, dynamically translated via BER/DER/ASN.1 to x86
        • Posters of Amy Lee
          • spudnewts
            • 2.88 MB floppy disks (Extended Density) format support via 320kb 5 1/4 inch repackaging.
              • applies cheese or peanut butter spread to discs if desired
          • wwwqqautt!!111` integrated enterprise-level scalablilty that conforms to IS0-8186367111!1 Subsection -2
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-07-25 16:47:00
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intractable post
Q: How many possible Riced Out Yugo posts are there?

This post is intractable.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-24 23:35:00
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substantial post
insubstantial post content
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-07-24 23:33:00
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